Sunday, July 29, 2012

"Who is this person and what have you done with my wife?"

As I rolled out of bed Friday morning at 5:30 a.m. to go out for my morning walk/jog (yes, I'm doing a little jogging between mailboxes), the question from John was (as he snuggled down into the covers a little more): "Who are you and what have they done with my wife?"  We both laughed hysterically!

Legitimate question I'm a little embarrassed to admit. He's used to me hitting the snooze on the alarm for WELL over an hour. I am NOT a morning all!! I 'snooze' usually until the absolute last minute I know I have to get up. We call that .... drop dead, feet on the floor wake up time! I get mad at him if he sets the alarm for the actual time I need to get up! lolol  Alway always ALWAYS I have to have at LEAST 30 min snooze time minimum.  :-)  So the fact that I've been up so early consistently these past two weeks is shocking to us both!

So week 2 of 12 is finished. On to week 3! This past week's highlights involved new things that push me out of my comfort zone. You know, that place where we feel 'safe' and are uncomfortable stepping out of? Well, I've been there a couple of times this week. 1) writing this blog, 2) dipping my toe into practice of meditation. My Zafu (google it) is comfortable but interesting trying to balance and sit on it properly. Trying not to overthink it (quiet the mind) so if there's a way to shut off this constant to-do list running in my head? I'm all for it.  3) Each week John & I have agreed to try at least one new food or recipe. This week was jicama and beets!! Jicama? yummmmm  Beets? not so much.  We'll definitely keep working on different ways to enjoy jicama. Beets? I think we're done with. hahaha

As I'm writing this, its 11:50 pm and the Women's Gymnastics event is on the tele (as they say in the UK) so, since I'm having a little trouble concentrating, I'll leave you with this short and sweet post.

By the way, John is incredibly supportive! I think he's enjoying the transformation that has begun for us both!

Philippians 1:6  "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Thursday, July 26, 2012

I got here how??

I got here how?? Only by the Grace of God I'm certain. It doesn't seem right to launch into this blog without giving you just a glimpse of my journey leading into BTWG so here goes.  I am a Christian believer serving the God of the Universe, and I’m married to an amazing man, John, who is my biggest fan and awesome encourager. He brought into my life 2 wonderful sons who have wives (that I consider daughters) they adore, which gives me the privilege of being Grammy to 4 of the most adorable, precious grandkids!  I am 52, I work full time, sitting at a computer 9-10-11 hours a day. I am at least 60 lbs overweight and not in great shape at all.

Many have tried to encourage me over the years to get healthy, but rarely was my head in the game to push myself enough to make any kind of commitment to permanent change.  Over the years I would find myself in, what felt like, an endless cycle of ‘dieting’. I would commit, I would be good for a short time until I started failing with choices, and then that little voice over my shoulder started in with the head games reminding me I’d messed up again so....I would give up. I would then eat what I wanted, when I wanted it, and gain weight, usually more than I lost....all the while beating myself up for failing yet again.

I have struggled with weight and fitness since I was a teenager into all of my adult life. I was really athletic through school years, but by my late 20's, I'd had some sports injuries & clutsy moments that put me in several casts. Mid-30’s brought marriage and freedom from a 15 year smoking habit (which were both awesome events!) but....that’s when the pounds really packed on! I've tried, what feels like, just about everything over the years to lose weight. 

That describes who I was. Now let me try to describe what has happened in the recent past few months to help you understand why I really feel like it’s my time to embrace the change!! In early 2012, I found myself again at that point of my usual cycle of being fed up, tired of the extra weight/feeling crappy about myself, “must get some of this weight off again” mode so I again decided to jump back into a popular weightloss program. “I can do this online” I told myself. Well I signed up, paid the money and I was good for about only 3 weeks this time. Then I started the all too familiar sliiiiiide. In the midst of all this, though, my husband and I were searching for a new physician. We found Dr. Miller (led there really we believe by the Holy Spirit) and since then our lives have been impacted in such an amazing way! She practices a blend of traditional medicine with whole health focus. Through what Dr Miller considers routine blood work, we both learned that we have several IGG food allergies, which has completely turned our food choices upside down. But in a very positive way! We have embraced our allergies to wheat, oat, peanut, casein and egg whites by totally eliminating these foods from our diet. By no means has that been an easy process of change, but another glimmer of the Holy Spirit’s involvement is that John received this diagnosis a few weeks ahead of me. While we both committed to it fairly quickly, John was truly the leader. He embraced it the 1st day…while I dragged my feet a bit longer. It was by John’s example though and my own diagnosis that has been a key to my early success. Since April we have worked together to discover new choices and recipes, and believe it or not, it has almost been fun!  

Funny anecdote, I heard myself telling someone the other day how I’m sometimes shocked that, as a carb addict, going gluten free hasn’t really been all that difficult!  Lolol  A year ago? Even 6 months ago....I NEVER would have believed I would be eating celery and almond butter for lunch! :-) and enjoying it!  I have felt remarkably better since eliminating these foods.  I’ve dropped almost 30 lbs and I’m really feeling strong in all of this. The gap for me though has been the fitness aspect which was my initial draw to BTWG.

Now here's the really cool part.....when my friend Sonia posted on her FB wall that BTWG was open for enrollment in June, I was intrigued. I poured over all of the information that was available that very night and when I was finished reading through it all, I looked up at my husband teary eyed to explain I truly felt this was a gift from God! HE knows me inside and out, knows exactly what I need and when (His timing is perfect!). I am confident God’s fingerprints are all over this experience. So I guess I do know what is different about this journey.:-) BTWG is the next step for me to now be able to focus on all aspects of my wellness, and I thank God for placing it in my path!

A friend recently posted Psalm 139 as a guiding force on her journey to wellness and thru that I was reminded of how God cares about and is in the midst of the details of each of us.

Psalm 139:1-6  You have searched me, Lordand you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Monday, July 23, 2012

And so it begins.....

On June 13, 2012, I took a leap of faith. I submitted an essay to BTWG (aka Bridging the Wellness Gap) and I was accepted into the 12 week program with 16 other 'recruits'. There's no turning back....I choose not to turn back! On Monday July 15, I began a journey into a new way of living. The 12 week journey to wellness has begun and I'm so stinkin' excited! I feel good about the commitment I've made to focus on my food choices, my physical fitness, and my spiritual wellness. For 12 weeks I'm trusting. Trusting the knowledge and years of experience that have been poured into this program by Chris. Trusting that this is exactly the place that God what's me to be right now. He's mapped it out so clearly, how could I say no? (more about that later). Trusting myself that I will stay commited and see this through to whatever measure of success is accomplished. And trusting that at the end of these 12 weeks I am equipped to carry this balanced, new way of living on for my lifetime!

I'll be coming here to journal my experience as best I can. I am not a writer and never claimed to be. Writing this blog is part of the BTWG program and for sure is a whole new experience in itself so you may have to put up with some crazy writing styles, some soul searching, some victories,  maybe a little moodiness, and I'm certain some failures. But I intend to celebrate each step along the way. Naive? maybe. But all I know is something has gotta change! I'm so tired of my obesity (yes, I can say it outloud but its tough). Tired of feeling like #$^& . Tired of it always getting in the way by consuming my thoughts and those all too familar insecurities rearing their ugliness from time to time. I desire to put this all behind me so I can move forward in such a way that will allow me to really focus on what's important...serving Christ and my husband, my family and beyond in a way that I cannot even fathom right now. How can I not step into the change?  And so it begins.......

Phillippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". And I certainly can't do any of this without Him.